bleep. arg. ack....oh noooo!

Every morning when I get onto the train, I find myself a cozy little corner in a way such that I am going forward, for two reasons.. one that I am going forward in my life :P and the other being the "dog is man’s best friend" effect.

 

Dog is man's Best friend effect:

If you notice in a train or a bus.. even if the seats are vacant; there are people standing at the door sticking their heads out, and all that is missing for a perfect picture is a long tongue sticking out of their mouth :P. We all have a bit of it in us :) 

 

As usual when I am comfortably planted, I get my phone out and start texting my girl friend, the guy next to me gets really interested. He peeps into my cell and starts reading and when I try to hide it.. Man!! he gets really annoyed, as if I have denied him the his constitutional right. The prime minister wanted every gal child to read.. he never mentioned anything about the annoying fellow passenger.

I am sure he would be thrilled read something like "cant make it 2 home 2night, gotto blow up a train"

 

When I am done, I put back my phone and the chap realizes that the show's over and he can sleep. First he checks both his neighbours and sees which shirt matches more with his bedroom ambience. Locks on one target and gives him one big grin and in 2 minutes you are his katrina, aishwarya and bipasha. For 5 mins you bear this nuisance and then start the nudging, budging and poking session. He doesn’t care one bit, but when his station approaches, he gets up promptly and walks off. I am waiting for a guy who actually has the balls to say sorry or courtesy to say thank you.

 

In a mumbai train there's always a wise guy who thinks he is the RJ of the compartment and the annoying lady who keeps announcing the last station, the previous station, the next station in marathi, hindi and english once before reaching the station and once after the station .. uuuurgh  (please shut her up, i don’t mind missing my station)!!!

 

And there are the ones who are the news guys, he opens up the news paper so wide and expects you to hold on the other end. One day I get curious and peep into the newspaper.. the owner then gives a demanding look for the 75ps I owe him for reading the newspaper. 

 

"The return of Young Star Jr.NTR" in daata (yeah .. thats samba) and our very own Ravi Teja's super hit sequel to Idoit - Loafer (Dubai Seenu) - #)@(*!)((*@&#^ 

Point of note: 

-never read the newspaper

-In your face SRK .. ur last telugu dubbed movie was mohabbatein :P

 

Finally when it’s the golden moment when your destination comes.

The average indian male is somewhere around 5' 7" in height. Curse my luck, I am 6. When I am standing at the door waiting to get out, all I see is few airfields or lot of hair in my face. YUCK !!! That’s the only moment I wish I was a few inches taller.

 

But guess what.. I travel 60 Kms a day for say 25 days for 120 rupees a month. That's dirt cheap( my calculator says thats 8 paise per kilometer..) i'm not complaining now :P

I am just thinking why do we have to explain our actions to so many people or rather is it that everyplace has a set of rules in place as to how we are supposed to behave and then we do something different from the rule book and we are doomed and are treated to silent speculation as if we are rebelling against the dictator ship in place (Read: Dress code/behaviour/language/etc., in hyd infy). At such times I often get this feeling that I am about to start a revolution and people are just waiting for some leader (ME!!!!) to show them the path (Read: positive thinking/optimism/hmm let’s say self satisfaction/I give a damn: P)........couldn't resist posting on this topic :P :P

Solemates for the Greysfulls and the Indian Idles

Democracy is still in the beta version in our country.

On one hand, we have greys-full leaders who seriously need to reconsider themselves for a graceful exit after all their years at the helm. We find that the average rate of politicians in the 2009 general elections to be around the 46- 50 yrs mark. With their age old manifestos, which have been given a modern avatar through Web 2.0 interfaces, they seek to come back to haunt the country and the younger generation to implement their worn out ideologies. We’ve seen and heard about strange strategies these people sting together to woo the masses and the classes alike. Gone are the days ( I guess and hope so ) where people were given money to vote for a specific party. Today we find netas who actually struggle hard to strike a balance between the educated voter and the intelligent voter. From staying at each place they travel to overnight, with an excuse to get the connect with their voters, to actually writing blogs to reach out to people, they are leaving no stone unturned to get the voters attention. A-DTH-every-home, money transfer to account, Jobs for unemployed( in this recession time ), are some more.

On the other hand, we have the Indian Idles, the lazy, lethargic souls of metropolitan India who do not cast their vote, just because they want to prove their ignorance, or because they say they don’t have time, or because they feel that their vote would not count much, or because they believe that nothing would change this country, or because they haven’t registered for a voter card, or because the polling booth is far from their place and they are too sluggish to go there ( when they can visit the pani puri stall everyday that is 200 metres further ), or because of reasons only they can know , conjure up or explain. Though Aamir Khan’s appeal for vote and Karan Johar’s Lead India Campaign have generated considerable interest in people, the Indian Idle isn’t bothered to join India Ink for the cause.It is heartening to see the Rural turn out being so good as it has been always.

All said and done, we have this new trend of shoe throwing or hurling towards politicians and the likes. This has become a hotseller of sorts among today’s youngistan. Last heard that we have institutes being setup in our very own Ameerpet in Hyderabad where in people are taught how to throw, hurl shoes without actually hitting the target. A certification is being planned for the same as well. :P

I feel like defining a chappal for all the mantris and the aam aadmis i have mentioned above. Let me try

• High heels : For people who try to do Moral ( Immoral ) Policing
• Sandals : For people who do not register for a voter id card ( One tight slap and say Jaago re ! )
• Floaters : These if struck would hit really hard. So this is for the Netas who do not go to their constituency and ask for people’s opinion for what they would want him to do when his vote is being asked for on an important bill in the parliament.
• Slippers : For Netas who worship the “High-command” as the Almighty and do not use their own tiny brains.
• Formal Shoes : For people who aim at using the votes to come to power, so that they can have their share of the money pie.
• Sports Shoes : For people who spring to life before elections, and show all their sportsmanship by travelling and promising long and hard, only to never return after getting whatever they wanted.
• Stilettos : For the great Indian Neta who tires but never retires.

Add on whatever you feel like. Let us create a list and we will send it across to the Election Commission, CCing all the CEOs of the major footwear companies. I'm sure they would sponsor for specific candidates and specific types of footwear and of specific colour only. After all, that is what is politics,people and everything revolving around them in the country is mostly about. Caste, Colour and Creed.

Jai Ho !!

Hello!

Introductions are a biiig yaaawwwnnn !! and all the folks here are fed up giving them all through their lives.. so hmm! we ain't doing any such!

This is here because we want to express whatever we want to! and because chorus is better than single voice, thus cacophony will happen - time & again!

We respect Freedom of Speech & Expression, :P so you're always welcome to comment! It gives us fodder for thought.

Adios now!

- crapIzeNs [v 1.0] :P -> you can call us that!

we'll aim to upgrade to crapSTARs [v 2.0] ... :D